If you are in a relationship right now you would agree with me that the feeling of jealousy can be very devastating. The feeling of jealousy is among the top 10 reasons why there are so many failures in relationships.
Although not all jealousy is bad, unhealthy jealousy can ruin your personal life and also your relationship. Understanding how jealousy works will help you to control it.
In these articles, we would discuss these points, Why we feel jealous. How jealousy can affect your personal life and relationship, and 10 ways to stop being over jealous.
Without wasting much time let’s dive in this topic.
Why do we feel jealous
No one is immune to the feeling of jealousy. I feel jealous too, and I know how mind bothering it is. The feeling of jealousy doesn’t just come and goes, it dwells in your mind for as long as you let it.
Jealousy occurs when we sense, feel or know that we are at risk of losing someone we love and care about.
There is no age at which jealousy stops. Whether you are young or old the feeling of jealousy will always be there.
You can view jealousy as a signal in your brain that alerts you when you are close to losing someone or something you hold dear.
How does jealousy affect your personal life and relationship
Jealousy is a mood changer. This feeling can affect the way you think, feel about something, and can also influence your actions.
When this feeling isn’t controlled it can have negative effects on your life. That is why understanding jealousy and the way it works is very important.
This feeling is very powerful, it could lead to very dangerous health issues like high blood pressure, depression, and lack of appetite.
Jealousy can be very bad, but this same feeling when controlled correctly can be healthy and can lead to a happier, prosperous relationship.
Difference between healthy jealousy and unhealthy jealousy
Jealousy is said to be healthy when expressions of your feelings isn’t as a result of anger but of care and love.
On the other hand, jealousy is said to be unhealthy when expressions of your feelings are as a result of possessiveness, anger, and lack of trust.
Consider this scenario illustrating a healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship.
A wife is telling her man he looks so handsome she is scared another woman may see what she see in him. She hugs her man so tightly and misses him immediately he leaves for work – this is healthy jealousy. From time to time this happens and it’s a sign of love.
A wife is telling her husband if he speaks to anyone apart from her, she will walk away from him, she calls his phone repeatedly during the day just to see if he is talking to anyone else. And even spy on him without his knowledge – although she wants to keep her man, this behavior is possessive, it includes threat and is motivated by anger, this is unhealthy jealousy.
10 ways to stop being the jealous person in your relationship
- Understand what jealousy really means
As explained in detail above some amount of jealousy can be good for a relationship yet if this feeling isn’t controlled, it can ruin your relationship, health, and personal life.
It is natural to be scared of losing one’s partner, but when you have love and trust, then there shouldn’t be a problem.
When you lack this vital quality love and trust, the feeling of jealousy abound.
There is no one who truly loves his or her partner that doesn’t feel jealous. Whenever you no longer feel a little bit of jealousy then you no longer value your partner highly and you no longer love him. So jealousy is a sign you still love and value your man
- Identify the root causes for your jealousy
Identifying the root cause of problems helps you find a better solution. This principle applies to all aspects of our life. Jealousy doesn’t spring up when there is no threat of losing a partner. It doesn’t work that way. The quicker you identify the source of the problem the better.
Some factors that contribute to the feeling of jealousy include low self-esteem, insecurities, experiences from a past relationship, and many more.
Whenever you begin to feel another woman is more good looking than you or you feel you aren’t just good enough, this may result in anger, there and then you may start having unhealthy jealousy.
Dealing with the root cause of as soon as possible will help you when dealing with jealousy. As soon as the source of the problem is handled then you can be free again.
- Express your feelings the right way
Feelings are our emotional state at a given time. Feelings change if we do not dwell so much on them. Expressing your feelings to your partner the right way can help you deal with jealousy.
How, when, and where you express your feelings may determine how your partner may respond. So it’s a best practice to do so when you two are home alone. Point out exactly what triggered the feeling and what he can do to help you feel better. A man who loves you with all his heart will make the necessary changes to help you feel much better.
When expressing your feelings try not to blame your partner in any way. Instead, you could start by appreciating the good things he must have done for you recently if there are any, or what he had done for you in the past. State why you love him and why you want a successful relationship with him. Then tell him how you have been feeling. Also, suggest to him what you think may help you feel better. And listen to what he has to say. There is nothing wrong if you have to repeat this process multiple times to let him understand how you really feel.
- Practice meditation
There are so many methods and ways of meditation found on the internet today, which share the same idea of emptying the mind.
Truly meditation involves more than that, It means purposely having a thought in mind.
For example, picture yourself in a distant land, before you is a blue sea, you can see the waves, and behind you are beautiful flowers, you can even feel the cold breeze.
Purposely thinking about a particular topic is meditation. So how then does meditation help you when dealing with jealousy.
With meditation, you can guide your mind and direct it away from any negative thoughts that cause you to feel jealous.
Meditation is power and can help you have a positive attitude when dealing with feelings like jealousy.
- Give yourself Time and space
- Recognize that jealousy can destroy your life and your relationship
- Stick to facts and avoid assumptions
- Seek professional counseling
- Reconsider your relationship