11 Signs He’s Manipulating You – Manipulation in Relationships
What are the signs he’s manipulating you?
There are times in our relationship we feel worried and uncertain about what’s going on. In most cases we begin to ask ourselves questions like, am I being manipulated? is he playing me? am I blindly in love? does he really care about me?
If you get to a point in your relationship and you constantly seek to find answers to those questions, then you should be concerned.
This article will discuss in detail signs he’s manipulating you.
When we begin to fall in love with a person, our minds tend to focus excessively on the bright side while completely ignoring the dark side. We all feel that way, this is completely human nature.
At some point, we make ignore important details we were supposed to take action on right from the start of our relationship. But because we are falling in love we completely ignore them. Even when we are told by our loved once about those negative signs, our minds seem to ignore those facts but instead focus on what seems to be the bright side to us.
Don’t let your emotions, thinking, feelings, or desire cause you to make that kind of mistake. If negative signs are ignored from the start you will suffer the consequences later on in your relationship.
Do not let falling in love affect your judgment.
If you notice this 11 signs you need to rethink your relationship
11 Signs he’s Manipulating you
- He doesn’t need your suggestion and doesn’t talk about the future of your relationship
Men who manipulate in a relationship have a mindset that the woman they are in a relationship with is just there to fulfill a basic need. This could be sexual, financial, or any other.
And because of this mindset that he has, he feels your opinion on other aspect of his life doesn’t matter, this is one of the signs he’s manipulating you
Men who manipulate know that you are disposable at any time, and so there will be no need for discussions related to the future with you.
Your relationship with him ends when you stop complying with his needs. This kind of man will always expect more than you can offer, and when you can’t keep up with the pace, you’ll be sidelined.
- He doesn’t keep his promises
Whenever he makes plans with you he doesn’t keep to it, he only gives you attention during last minutes, although he might be genuinely busy with other things, if he only has time for sex or has time with you some days in a week without genuine reasons then you should know something isn’t right and he could be manipulating you.
There something that remains a fact in a relationship, if your relationship is important and valuable to him he will make time for you no matter what. If he doesn’t make the time and doesn’t put the effort to keep his promise, then your relationship with him isn’t his priority, these are signs he’s manipulating you.
- He doesn’t reach out to you , and he is too busy when you need him the most
One of the signs he’s manipulating you is that he doesn’t reach out to you when you need him the most. When a man is in love with you, he will have the desire to try to do everything right to please you, like initiating the conversation, or giving you a lovely text or calling you.
Ideally, a man who is manipulating you will always expect you to call him first, whereas a man who loves you will reach out to you 80% of the time and no less than 50% of the time.
If he misses your call, a man manipulating you will give excuses, on the other hand, if he really loves you, he will promptly call you as soon as he can, he will apologize, and you can tell he was busy from the sincerity in his voice.
If it takes your man about 24 hours or 2 days to respond to your text or call then know that something is wrong, you need to sit down with him and talk or you better reconsider your relationship with him.
- He lies a lot
He always tells lies is one of the signs he’s manipulating you, nothing he says is true, every word from his mouth is all lies and this can have a negative effect on you.
When he wants to take you out, does he usually cancels last minute with excuses that he had to work late or, something else came up.
If he keeps lying to you then you know he is using you.
We know we live in a busy world, and sometimes your man can genuinely be busy, even if he has to cancel anything, he will beforehand first apologies to you and reschedule, he will also want to know when will be okay for you to go out again with him, and he will promise not to cancel it again.
If he reschedules one time, there is nothing you should worry about, but if he cancels more that he is available then there is a problem, this is among the signs he’s manipulating you.
- He Tells everyone he is single
When last did you try to take a picture with your man? how did he react? Is your man interested in creating memories with you?
Is his social media account relationship status “SINGLE” or “IN A RELATIONSHIP”, if it shows single that’s a sign he wants other women to think he is not in a serious relationship.
Watch to see how he behave when he is with other women, ask yourself, do his words and action show that he respects you?
How much time does he spend on social media, does he keep posting pictures of himself with his friends? Do you feel left out on his social media account?
When a man is into you he will be happy to share exciting moments with you on his social media, if this is not happening in your case, you should certainly ask why.
What about going out in public with you, does he take you out in public? or he doesn’t want anyone to see you with him? If that’s the case this is another red flag. Watch out for lame excuses why he can’t go out with you, for example, he says he is broke or tired, if this happens again and again then you should know he is manipulating you, a man who doesn’t want to put in the effort and want to keep your relationship a secret doesn’t deserve you. This is among the signs he’s manipulating you.
- When he want something from you he becomes lovely
One clever way to know that a man is manipulating you is when there is a quick change in his mood when he wants to get something from you. Does he change from being mean and arrogant to being lovely in seconds just because he needs something from you? Then you need to know he is up to something.
Most men who manipulate their women are only nice when it’s time to hook up, or he needs a favor, if your man is doing this to you then you need to start asking questions. This is among the signs he’s manipulating you.
- He only does what he want and when he want it
Does your man think of himself more than how he thinks of you? Is he selfish and self-centered? Does he do want he wants without your consent? A guy who truly loves and appreciates you will make every effort he can to show how special he feels about you.
A man who truly loves you will do this both in words and actions. A man can say whatever he likes but if he isn’t putting in the effort, well something is wrong, what do we mean when we say putting in the effort. In this case, we mean him coming to your side of town to pick you up, he takes the initiative to plan the date rather than waiting for you to talk about it, he also makes himself available for you on an emotional and physical level, he remembers details of your schedule and makes himself available whenever you need him at your free time, he also offers to do things for you even if it isn’t convenient for him. When he does this that means you are a priority to him and his relationship with you is important to him, but if he doesn’t put any effort he may be using you. This is among the signs he’s manipulating you.
- He does not know what he really wants
Communication is really important in every relationship, we do this in two forms, these are what we say and what we do.
Whether he speak or act, they usually convey the same message. A man who doesn’t know what he wants will show inconsistency in his communication. What he says is not always what he does. For example, he tells you he misses you so much but he doesn’t call or text you to see how you are doing and in most cases, he doesn’t even want to see you. Another example might be whenever he plans to go out with you he cancels at last minutes with excuse such as he isn’t interested in going out anymore.
Another sign that he doesn’t know what he really wants is he wants you two to act like a couple, but he doesn’t want to be committed, he doesn’t propose to you, and he isn’t thinking about marrying you.
Remember not to be deceived by words that don’t accompany an action, words followed by action have a bigger impact, a man whose words don’t match his action is clearly manipulation you and you need to reevaluate your relationship with him.
- He only things about sex
Whenever he is with you, he talks about sex, when he is without you he is watching porn or hanging out with other females, if you man does any of this then you should be concerned. Does he spend the night with you after being intimate? Does he wake you up if you accidentally fall asleep at his place because he thinks you are spending too much time? If your man only wants to hook up with you without developing emotional connection with you, then you should know this is a sign he’s manipulating you.
- He tells you he isn’t ready
A man who is manipulating you doesn’t want a future with you, and in some cases may tell you that they are not ready for any commitment.
It is understandable that people are careful about giving their hearts out after going through a difficult relationship. It is very important to learn more about your partner’s past relationship so that you avoid some thing’s he doesn’t like so that you can take things slowly.
But one thing will always be true, when we meet the right person we will do all we can to be with that person, and the desire we have to be with that person won’t let the fear of past relationship hinder our growth for a successful relationship, so if you are really the one for him, then he won’t have any fears because he knows everything can be sort out. But a man who is manipulating you will give you excuses why he wants to take things slowly.
So if he keeps telling you he isn’t ready, yet he wants to enjoy all the benefit of being in a happy relationship and he doesn’t want to put in the effort, then you have to move on and find someone who is willing to commit to you and who is afraid of losing you.
- Your mind tells you he is using you
If your mind tells you this isn’t the relationship for you, you are probably correct, because your mind is clearly telling you that for a reason, when your intuition tells you something, in most cases it is correct. Your intuition is able to make a decision and come to a conclusion before your brain is able to acknowledge it.
It is true that love is blind and sometimes we refused to listen to what our intuition tells us, this self-justification and self-deception has caused so many problems in today’s relationship, for some, it may be too late until they are able to recognize this signs he’s manipulating them.
Are you the one always reaching out and making plans? what will happen if you stop doing those things? if your mind is telling you that something is not right or telling you that his head and heart are somewhere else listen and follow your intuition.
Have a heart to heart conversation with him and find out what is going on, because if you don’t? It will only get worse.
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This article was authored by Norman Joshua.
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Norman Joshua is a Licensed Professional Counselor. Specialized in Communication and Counseling. Norman Joshua provides therapy to people who struggle with family-related problems, cheating partners, and Children.
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